"Today on Oprah, we have a new book in our book club. This is the best book I've ever read. Everybody will enjoy it. It is called..."
We interrupt this program for a special report. There is gunfire at an NRA meeting. Five people have been killed by a man wearing full camouflage and has a shotgun. We'll get back to this later. In other news, 9 out of 10 doctors leaves one doctor, and in addition, 2 + 2 = 4. This just in, scientists have proven that the deaths of numerous cows is not the West Nile virus, but the Big Mac. We now return to your regularly scheduled program.
"And here is the author, Lisa Collins, of this wonderful, amazing book called..."
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system...
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If this was a real emergency, you'd be dead by now. We now return to your regularly scheduled program.
"Well, thank you Lisa, and please keep up your good work. That was Lisa Collins, the author of..."
This just in... The shooter at the NRA meeting has been apprehended. He is not going to jail though, he is just getting an award for the master marksmanship he displayed earlier. Well, that takes care of that. Back to your regularly scheduled program.
"Well, thank you for watching. Remember to read the hit seller from Lisa Collins, which is called..."
(Power outage)
(Power back on)
This just in, an 18-wheeler has just crashed and exploded next to a power plant. You may have experienced a short power outage. We now return to your regularly scheduled program.
"Get with tha program, get with Oprah! Hi, I'm Lisa Collins. I am an author, and I have just released my best book ever. It is called..."
This is a news brief. O.J. Simpson is in a high speed chase on a highway. He is driving a Bronco and is... Oh, wait this is footage from a couple years ago. Sorry, back to your regularly scheduled program.
